Monday, December 29, 2008

It is the fixed that horrifies us, the fixed that assails us with the tremendous force of it's mindlessness. . .The fixed is the world without fire - dead flint, dead tinder, and nowhere a spark. It is motion without direction, force without power, the aimless procession of caterpillars round the rim of a vase, and I hate it because at any moment I myself might step to that charmed and glistening thread.
Annie Dillard


Out to dinner with my family tonight, I couldn't help but notice the couple sitting near us. They were young, attractive, and dressed for the occasion. But they hardly talked and rarely looked at each other. At first I thought that this must be their first date because they were rigid and uncomfortable, and possibly bored. I thought it was cute that they were nervous and uncomfortable. Then I noticed they were married. It made me sad for them.

Sunday, December 28, 2008


I hate "stuff". It's so pointless. Tonight I made an attempt to organize/sort through my room at home, which I never fully unpacked or organized after moving back from school. I have lived without this stuff (and the other random stuff in my room) for the last 7 months and haven't missed it. I want to just throw it all away. But I can't do that with year books and stuff ya know? Ahhh . . . I just want simplicity. I never want to hang on to anything. Well . . . any material things.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Question

It had been just like a scene from a movie. She was walking into her past, and with each step further in that she took she was inundated with memories so quickly, that they were mixing with reality before she could stop them. What a contrast the clear and colorful memories were to the current overcast emptiness. The memories were so astringent she couldn’t keep from choking up. What is this? She wonders to herself. Really, this shouldn’t evoke such a response. She was usually better at controlling such a surge of emotion. It was so long ago. Life had moved on. Life was better. She’d grown up. She was happy now. Wasn’t she?

She always said she wouldn’t go back if she had a choice. But still, this was history. This was life.

The corner where that picture was taken. The bench where she had sat. The hallway where he always waited. The path she faithfully tread. The place that gave her nightmares. The wall forever marked with her contribution to a legacy. She didn’t remember the ivy being so overgrown. The black iron gate. Was it keeping something out or keeping something in?

It was beautiful.

And before she was ready for it . . . life went back to normal.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I squared my shoulders and walked forward to meet my fate, with my destiny solidly at my side.


I think some people may think I'm crazy. Moving to a place in the middle of nowhere, with no cell phone service, no tv, and an hour and half from the nearest anything . . . It's like living in a bubble right?

I have come to recognize though, that now I am much more intentional about the places I go and the things I do. I would venture to say that I have likely done more exciting things in the last two months, than most people who live in the "real world". I think that when certain things are common . . . there is no push to actually experience them. Simply because they will always be convenient. Like the two years in a row where I never went to the beach . . . and it's minutes away. How ridiculous is that?

But in the last 8 weeks or so, I have:

. Climbed Half Dome in Yosemite
. Visited Elk Grove and Sacramento
. Gone home to Tustin
. Taken the train to Escondido
. Spent an afternoon at the beach in Oceanside
. Gone to Disneyland and the Garden Walk in Anaheim
. Driven through the central valley in the fog
. Done a little off-roading in the mountains
. Looked at the most incredible view of the stars in the mountains
. Gone to a hockey game in Fresno
. Made my life to-do list
. Had lunch in Bakersfield
. Gone to San Francisco to see Phantom of the Opera
. Gone ice skating, and cross country skiing
. Driven through the Grapevine covered in snow
. Gone to Santa Monica and LA
. Learned a new kind of dancing
. Saw the 100th annual boat parade on Balboa Island

So those of you that don't live in a bubble. Take advantage of it. It's more than possible. Or if you don't . . . go live in a Bubble just so that you can really experience life outside of it.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

What We Do

Tonight a group of us went cross country skiing around the lake. It was a nice workout, and very enjoyable. While trekking around the lake I kept thinking of great cheesy skiing illustrations for sermons. But I won't bore you with them. Instead . . . I'll just show you some pictures:

Half way around we stop to take a group picture

Oh, then we all get pushed down

We are a little tangled up

Almost ready to go again

I dunno why this showed up sideways . . . but MB and I were the only girls to brave this adventure :-)

I did realize though, that tomorrow is my last full day before heading home for the holidays . . . and I really am going to miss the snow. It's been fun so far. But then again, it's only been a few days . . . ask me again in four months.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


I've been thinking about the concept of change. What a beautiful design.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Some Recent Activities

Family Christmas Party

A Little Ice Skating

A quick trip to San Fran to see Phantom of the Opera!

Those of us who went

Cafe De La Presse in San Fran

Thursday, December 4, 2008


Today I learned that sometime in the near future I am going to have to make a decision. For some reason this made me really anxious and nervous. And just this morning I was thinking about what my next path will be. Coincidence? Likely not. We'll see what happens.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

a cup o joe

It seems only appropriate that a blog from a coffee and tea freak should have some sort of explanation of the coffee and tea experiences as of late. So, last Monday I made my first trip back to my 2nd home at the good ol’ Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I saw some great coworkers . . . and actually didn’t have anything to drink.

Tuesday morning, I stopped by CB again and saw Alin and Brent . . . the only people that have been there longer than me. 4 years of working together . . . and we’re still friends. I had my “usual”, also known as “Da Jocey” which is Jasmine Dragon Phoenix Pearl green tea with a little steamed soy, good foam, and a splenda or two. It was glorious. Ahh I forgot how much I miss that.

Then it was off to Escondido for the day, and I got to experience the infamous Blue Mug, which I’d heard so much about. Each cup of coffee is freshly ground and individually brewed into a blue mug. I opted for the Tanzanian Peaberry. It was a coffee that was discontinued from my company before I ever got to try it so I jumped at the opportunity to try it now. This is a unique coffee because unlike most coffees that are grown with 2 pits/beans to each fruit . . . the Peaberry coffee has only one bean in each. Therefore it is supposedly a more concentrated flavor. And this coffee comes from Tanzania . . . and African coffees normally have complex layers of flavor . . . so that was a treat. And of course this one I drank black. No need to cover up greatness. Rebecca chose 100% Kona coffee. Please, do me a favor . . . don’t fall for coffees that say they are Kona unless they are 100%. They will only be a small percentage Kona . . . and you won’t get the true experience.

Wednesday morning B-Lane and I went to Rebecca’s Starbucks and I had my first Starbucks soy cappuccino . . . in a glass mug of course. It was fine and dandy.

Then I took the train to Laguna Niguel and headed to Rancho Santa Margarita and went to visit my sister at the Starbucks she works at. I had just had my cappuccino a few hours before, so this time I opted for black ice tea. I was nauseous from the train ride so I couldn’t finish that one.

The next day was busy with Thanksgiving and all . . . so no more adventures to other coffee shops.

Friday I went to the Lost Bean, an organic coffee and tea place. I tried the Rainforest green tea. I don't really know what was in it. But it was quite good for a green tea. I was very impressed.

On Saturday my “usual” was delivered to my house with a nice little message.

I am officially ridiculous